How I Like My Cake

It has occurred to me on lonely nights, to my trainer’s dismay, I bake.
Hence,

“How I Like My Cake”

Cake should always be enjoyed slowly. The bite with the most frosting should always be enjoyed last. Cake should always be sweet and memorable. The baker must be familiar with his cake consumer, and should always approach the baking as a professional. Prior to the baking of the cake, the baker should attentively prepare the ingredients. The baker must be confident in his skill and should never, under any circumstance, ever, reference any other baking experiences. After hundreds of cakes have been enjoyed, the baker should continue to add creativity and ingenuity to his cakes, while still maintaining the general pleasing qualities. Cake should never be reserved for only celebrating an occasion or event. Cake should be enjoyed as regularly as possible. Cake can be enjoyed in combination with other dishes, or ala cart. Though this has yet to be a problem for me, it should be mentioned that some bakers don’t think that cake is particularly important. I hear some bakers think it’s maybe just a hobby that they can dabble with in several kitchens. I think cake is very important, and if the baker is in my kitchen, he is forbidden to spend any time in others’.
Why? I seriously love cake.