And a Happy Lent to you!

That Girl Abbey needs some discipline in her life. So, there is no better time to greet the nonsense that is Lent. Yay for Lent!

As a child of a Catholica Apathetica family (the Cleland's religious genus species, if you will,) I invited gloomy Lent more than glorious Easter. Lent was fun. We met in a spooky church "social" hall where a few nuns sang at us about sacrifice, guilt, and shame. My favorite song was called "Tremble." It's a cryptic narrative asking you to tremble in fear of the Lord. Still to this day, the word "tremble" makes me tremble. As the nuns would belt "Tremble!", I would look at my big brother sitting with the older class across the room. He'd make funny faces at me, trying to break the seriousness. Soon Sister Colette inched closer to me on my carpet square. "Abbey. Get up! It's your turn!"

Oh, Abbey. Stay cool. Don't trip. Don't don't get out of line.
Just drop it in. Drop, drop, drop.

As I join the precession, I play with the little piece of sweaty paper in my hand. On it I have written "I will not fight with my brothers." in red crayon. As the girl a few kids ahead of me drops her paper in the flame, I adjust my ponytail to the side of my head. That flame is getting bigger and there's no way I'm gonna be that girl who's hair catches fire!
Not this year.

Without a hitch, my paper drops into the flame, ashes fly up into my eyes and I know I did it right. Father Jim places ashes on my forehead and I hurry back to my carpet square.

On the car ride home I try not to bicker with my brother as I smear the nasty gray off my forehead. Thank God for shaggy blonde bangs.

This Lent I will not be trembling. For kicks I'm going to give up candy. Oh man, do I love candy. This is going to be hard.
Thank God for ice cream.